As I watched my daughter climb the steps to receive her high school diploma, it was hard to believe that just a little over a year earlier she was destined to be a high school dropout. Failing in four of her classes and doing nothing to improve, there was no way she was going to graduate from high school.

As I perched on a wobbly chair, in the bright sunlight among hundreds of other proud parents, I started thinking back on the remarkable change that had taken place with my daughter. After the graduation ceremony, the vice-principal walked up to me. The first words out of his mouth were, “I never thought she’d make it.” Even he had given up on her!

It was then I realized successful parenting has more to do with what I am willing to put into it than how smart I am, what I already know or how much money I make.

When I first saw her failing grades I was so worried I didn’t know where to turn. I couldn’t believe this was happening to my little angel. My biggest fear was that she would do something drastic because she had been lying about her grades and hiding them from me. I knew she had to be under enormous stress.

I started thinking about what kind of a parent I was and how I might be part of the problem. When I stood back and looked at how I was raising my daughter, I was devastated to realize that I was not exactly doing the best job as a mother.

As a parent, I had the attitude “Nobody needs to tell me how to be a parent, I’ll just do what “comes naturally!” That’s how I was raised, and I turned out okay, didn’t I? Man was that ever off base. My daughter was about to flunk out of school, she was drinking and who knows what else?
It was hard to confront what my lack of knowledge about parenting had cost my daughter over the years. My best intentions really weren’t good enough. I needed to know what works in raising children, not assume I knew.

I needed to understand that raising children is different than anything else. A parent is not a drill sergeant mindlessly drumming unexamined information into an empty vessel. A parent is really a “Life Skills” coach. Parents are people who work with their children to help them learn critical values, principles and skills for navigating through life happily and successfully.
I became the student and tackled positive parenting practices and it worked.

Was it all worth it?
On high school graduation day, as I watched my daughter bound up the steps to accept her diploma my heart was filled with joy at what we had accomplished together. She went on to graduate from college, became a successful television producer, married a terrific guy, and made me an ecstatically joyful grandmother. She enjoys her life so much that I remember coming home one day and checking my message machine. There was a message from her saying “Mom, I just wanted to tell you how happy I am. I am so happy with my life.”

My daughter was destined to be a high school dropout until I changed my parenting practices. Nothing else changed. I didn’t change jobs. She didn’t go to a different school. She didn’t change her friends. We didn’t move. I simply altered my parenting practices and she went from being a helpless, unmotivated kid to being a “Can Do” Kid.

Because of this, I learned that I can make a profound positive difference in my daughter’s life no matter how old she is and she can make a profound difference in mine.

There Are Proven Parenting Skills
Since my daughter and I went through our “catastrophe”, I found out there have been many scientific studies on what works with children. I have dedicated myself to providing that information to as many parents, grandparents, and teachers as possible through my book, “I Can Do It! How to Help Your Child Have a Can-Do Attitude” and my Website: candokid.com They won’t teach you everything about bringing up perfect children or how to avoid all problems. But they will show you specific things you can do to help your child develop the kind of “Can Do” Attitude that will motivate them to want to take on challenges, overcome obstacles, achieve their goals and enjoy life.

I invite you to use this tip to strengthen your ability to raise a happy, healthy, responsible and successful child, while you enjoy the journey.

And, with your permission, I’d also like to offer you free access to The Proven Principles of Effective praise, you can download it by going to http://www.candokid.com/Praise.htm

From Pam Golden at http://www.candokid.com

Tags: Can-Do Attitude, Can-Do Kid, parent, parenting, raising children

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